Monthly Archives: August 2018

Bennett family in the 1990’s

 

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Maxine and Lloyd

Okay, so when we left the Bennett family in the 1980’s, Paul and I had been married and first up in the Bennett household, Ryan Patrick McBride was born on May 30, 1990. He was Anita’s first born child and Lloyd and Maxine were just ecstatic!  He was the first new baby in ten years and he was named after his big cousin Wesley Ryan Lamb.

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Baby Ryan and his dad, Scott
Ryan with his Aunt Mary and cousin Wesley
Baby Ryan

I had a difficult time getting pregnant and tried for two years before I became pregnant. Finally, a long awaited granddaughter was born to the Bennetts on September 14, 1992.  One of the greatest attributes of Maxine was how faithful she was to her daily diary. I’m so glad that we have her words from that night.

 

Diary Entry

 

Maxine stayed by my side, when my own mother was in too much pain to keep sitting with me. Maxine held my hand and comforted me, helping me get past the pain and fear, especially when my husband went to dinner with my parents. I was a little annoyed. But Maxine treated me as if I were her daughter. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me, that my mother trusted her enough to walk out the door, knowing Maxine was there for me.

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The Bennett household was starting to fill out. As soon as I was released from the hospital, I had my parents drive me to the Bennett house, so that we could visit Grandpa Bill, and let him meet Taylor.

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Bill and Bea were spending more time in Stockton. Grandpa Bill suffered a heart attack and Lloyd decided to move them to Stockton. Scott McBride was employed to build a “grandparents’ room” for Bea and Bill. As we readied to bring them to Stockton for good, Bill passed away on December 2, 1992.

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Taylor bathing at Great Grandma’s in Salt Lake City

 

We all flew to Salt Lake City that December. Taylor was only three months old. Paul’s aunt flew in with her son, his wife and grandchild, too. That little boy was about a year older than Taylor. Bill and Bea’s grandson Bill arrived from Canada. My mother in law Maxine had decided that since Paul and I, and Rodney and his wife were there, we should have time to go out and that she and Aunt Darlene would watch the babies. I agreed, although I was a little worried. My mother in law said there was nothing to worry about. Paul’s cousin Bill took us to downtown Salt Lake City for a few hours. When he returned to pick us up, we all got in the car and Bill says, “Boy, your baby has cried the whole time you were gone!” I said, “What? Taylor cried?” I was horrified, as I wouldn’t want my baby to be a nuisance to anyone.  He said, “No, not your baby. Their baby.” Poor Darlene had a tough time babysitting her grandchild. Taylor, on the other hand, was as good as gold. I needn’t have worried. She was always good with her grandparents. As Maxine was in fairly great shape physically, she helped me with Taylor all the time. Truthfully, Taylor could stay with the Bennetts for weeks on end and she wouldn’t have cared.

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Great-Grandma Bea and Taylor

By 1993, Lloyd had sold Grandma Bea’s house and moved her to Stockton. The room that had been planned for her and Grandpa Bill became her room for all of her furniture. She slept in the house, however, as she was 84 and didn’t want to sleep out in the annex by herself.

 

In approximately 1993, Lloyd rented a large condominium on the beach so that we could have a family vacation together. Everyone was there. Incidentally, Taylor tried to take out the entire Bennett family that weekend. She had been ill the day before we left but seemed better the day we were to go. However, Taylor shared her illness with the entire family. It was a rough weekend. But it was also so great to just spend time together as a family.

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Mary, Anita, Wesley, Taylor, Me, Brent, Scott
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Anita, Taylor, Wes

By February 15, 1995, Lauren Allison McBride joined our family. Maxine was always so good about keeping the kids. She played Tiddly-Winks, play-dough, plastic magnetic letters on the refrigerator and a kitchen drawer full of plastic toys. Well, she considered them toys, but really it was a junk drawer full of odds and ends. I can clearly remember there being a hot roller (look them up kids, girls used to use them on their hair) and a stray Lego or two. She would play word games and she could keep kids busy for hours.

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Grandma Bennett announces the birth of Lauren Allison McBride
Baby Lauren and big brother Ryan
Baby Lauren
Enjoying a cupcake

Anita and Scott had moved to the Santa Cruz area, but by the time Lauren came along, they moved back to Stockton and our kids were together a lot at Grandma Maxine’s house. There were plenty of times that Maxine had plans but if someone was sick or we just needed someone to watch the kids, she was there.

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Taylor and Lauren in Grandma’s backyard
Hometown Buffet Days
Taylor and Maxine

Maxine worked at Village Oaks Elementary School and was a classroom aide. Lloyd had a master’s degree in psychology and worked as a counselor at the juvenile facility/jail in Stockton. He worked at Karl Holt School and was very well respected.

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Ryan and Taylor, hiding in the ivy

By the time Taylor was about 4, Grandma Maxine and Grandma Beatrice would take Taylor to Home Town Buffet every single Wednesday afternoon. They would pick her up from school or from the babysitter’s house and off they would go. Grandma Maxine would help Taylor get a plate of Taylor food (carrots, peas, chow-mein noodles, cheese and ice cream for dessert). She would get chocolate milk and their complete attention.

Taylor with kittens at grandma's house
Taylor at Grandma Maxine’s house
taylor and lauren part deux
Tay and Lauren
taylor and lauren
Playing on the porch

My father in law and Great Grandma didn’t say a word about Taylor being a girl, but I do believe they were relieved when I had a boy. On October 27th, 1997, Jacques was born. I did name him William Jacques Bennett, although we call him Jacques. Paul’s full name is William Paul, his father’s full name was William Lloyd and Great-Grandpa’s full name was William George Bennett. I didn’t think it was fair to break that tradition.

Jacques' announcement
Diary entry for William Jacques Bennett
Lloyd and Jacques
Jacques and Lloyd
Grandma Josephine, Grandpa Joe, Grandma Georgette, Grandpa George
Taylor, Jacques, Ryan, Lauren

Playing at Grandma Bennett’s house became the hot spot for the Bennett grandchildren. The tire swing was replaced with a pillow case, where Grandma Bennett was always free to give someone a swing. Grandma Maxine always kept chickens in a hutch in the backyard. She would name them fun names like Mildred, Millicent, Penelope, Henrietta, and lots of cats like Blue and Gray.

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Ryan, Jacques, Taylor (Lauren in shadow)
Taylor and the chickens
Taylor and the hens
anita, ryan, lauren, lloyd
Anita, Ryan, Lloyd, Lauren
showing off tats
Showing off their tattoos
inappropriate computer games
Jacques and Ryan

By 1998, the Bennett family was in a good place, when tragedy struck. I hate having to remember that time because it was so heartbreaking and one of the worst things that our family had experienced. On October 22, 1998, Wesley Ryan Lamb died in a car accident. I’ll never forget my father in law calling at my office, to tell me of the awful news and to see if I could get in touch with Paul. I left right away and went straight to the Bennett’s house. Paul was a truck driver at this point and I knew it would be tough to get him on the phone (those pre-cell phone days). When I think of Wesley, I always picture that little boy face, his grin and bright blue eyes. Wes was Mary’s youngest boy and to lose him like we did, we were heartbroken. Jacques was only a year old and Taylor six. They never got to know Wes and I wish they had.

One day I had walked into the Bennett house and someone was playing the piano with such musicality and talent, it was shocking. Wesley was one hell of a pianist. I wish he’d had more time to pursue that craft. He was very talented and a sincere young man. Paul had spent a lot of time with both of his nephews when they were little. After we’d begun dating, his nephews hung out with my own nephews so we saw Brent and Wes a lot. The entire Bennett family lost a lot that day. When we sang “You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine” at his funeral, it was heartfelt by everyone in attendance. Wesley Ryan Lamb is buried at the Stockton Rural Cemetery and his headstone has a VW bug symbol on it, along with the words Hakuna Matata.

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Lloyd, Paul, Brent, Wes
Wes
Wesley, Maxine, Brent, Lloyd

My relationship with Maxine had started out distant (not on my part haha) but as we grew to know each other better, we began to like each other more and more.  One day, I’d gone to retrieve my kids from her house when she stopped me in the kitchen. She had a serious look on her face and said, “You are a good mother.” Now, Maxine wasn’t known for being flip, and was as sincere as one could be. I appreciated her words. She was such a devote Mormon that it was difficult for her when her children chose differently, but for her to say I was a good mother, was high praise.  She had a difficult relationship with my husband when he was in his teen years, as his father felt Paul would simply “grow out” of difficult behavior and I always felt like her thoughts/feelings on the matter were dismissed. I think she appreciated that I would not follow that pattern and took a firm stance on how I raised my children.

As we ended the 1990’s, we were terribly saddened by the loss of Wesley, and it was a very difficult time. But Lloyd and Maxine kept dear Wesley in their hearts and carried on.

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Family Reunion 2018

Connections:

Everyone

Well, we are a week past our family reunion. I have to say, when I held the family reunion in 2016, I had billed the reunion as a Jacques family reunion. However, I had four separate sections of my family show up to the reunion. I knew, this year, that we should bill it as a Jacques/Archuleta/Lujan/Herrera reunion. Boy, did people respond.

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It is so easy to be divided. These times of divisiveness permeate everyone’s lives. But, when we connect, and celebrate, our ancestors, we enlarge our hearts toward each other, toward our family and toward being open to keeping our connections alive.

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Let’s look at our connections.

 

This first photograph is Rose Marie Lujan, Richard Jacques and myself. Pictures like this make me think of the 1930’s, when our families lived in Jackson and must have reached out to keep their close knit New Mexican connections to each other.

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My Mom, Jubie Jacques, Milton Archuleta, my Dad, Tim Jacques, Anna and Rose Lujan, Vi Archuleta, Donald Archuleta, Flora Lujan and Henrietta Hayes

This next picture is Fred Herrera and Lissi Figueroa. The descendant of Celia Jacques Herrera and Celestino Jacques. They were two siblings who would have been very touched to see that this connection continues.

Freddy and Lissi

The next picture is Henrietta Archuleta Hayes and myself. She is the very last of that generation, a double first cousin to my dad. She is just as much a Jacques as I am an Archuleta. That is fun to think about. We are so lucky to have one of our original family members with us, well enough to travel and generous enough with her time that she traveled out to California just to attend. Here is a picture of her as a young lady. So lovely.

me and henrietta

henrietta

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Top row, Sonny, Anita, Flora, Celia, Sandi, Freddy, LeRoy, Bottom Row Terry, Ben Lujan, Edna Marie Lujan, Anna Marie Lujan

The number of parties our family has had in the past led to very fun pictures of different parts of our family, all of our connections.

steven and me
Me and Steven Stewart
herreras in the
Polly, LeRoy, Effie, Fred, Celia, Freddy, Geri, Edna Marie

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Our Herrera connection is strong. My dad always felt close to his Aunt Celia and I just love this picture of Aunt Celia’s wedding anniversary from the 1970’s.

family party two

jacques kids
Dorothy, Tim, Angie
jeanie gary me
Jeanie, Gary and I
Jacques kids
Myself, Lea, Jimmy
donald arch party
Donald Archuleta’s picnic

We have connections everywhere. Each person who came to the picnic made a new connection. We have new connections and new family.

new family
Diane Archuleta, Bob Archuleta, Shirley, Julia, David
new family again
Magali and Frank Lee
archie wedding pic
Pete, Archie, Elsie, Flora
robert me diane monica
Bob, myself, Diane, Monica

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Chris, Me, Trisha

edna - Copy

joe and terry
Joe, Terry

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Jackie, Marisa

anniversary - Copy

dickie henrietta and freddy - Copy
Richard, Henrietta, Freddy
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Rose, Linda

kids

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Gary, Kit

elsie - Copy

lauren
Laurie, Lauren

couple pics lujan archie - Copy

martinez lujan
Jordie, Rose, Kit

della and flora

So many lovely pictures, time well spent. My cousin Rose said she’d spoken to me more over the last two months than she had over my entire life. I’m grateful for the time we’ve spent together and I have a feeling it will continue!